The Nile on eBay How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls by Donna Dale Carnegie
Based on the bestselling, timeless classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls is the essential guide for a new generation of teenage girls on their way to becoming empowered, savvy, and self-confident young women. How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls, based on the beloved classic by Dale Carnegie, has become the go-to guidebook for girls during the difficult teenage years. Presented by Donna Dale Carnegie, daughter of the late motivational author and teacher Dale Carnegie, this new edition brings her father's time-tested lessons to the newest generation of young women on their way to becoming self-assured friends and leaders. In these pages, teen girls get invaluable, concrete advice about the most powerful ways to influence others, defuse arguments, admit mistakes, and make self-defining choices. The Carnegie techniques promote clear and constructive communication, praise rather than criticism, emotional sensitivity, empathy, tolerance, and an optimistic outlook in every situation. Written in an empowering, relatable voice and filled with anecdotes, quizzes, reality check sections, and questionnaires, this new and fully revised edition of How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls is required reading for a new generation of strong female leaders.
FORMATPaperback LANGUAGEEnglish CONDITIONBrand New Author Biography
Donna Dale Carnegie is the daughter of the late Dale Carnegie, motivational speaker and one of the most successful self-help authors in history. She serves as Chairman of the Board of Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc.
Excerpt from Book
Chapter 1: Lose the Negative Energy If you want to gather honey, don''t kick over the beehive. --Dale Carnegie "This is an action book." That''s what Dale Carnegie said of the original How to Win Friends and Influence People . He wanted readers to take real, practical information and tips from his writing and actually use them in their lives every day. That''s the goal with this book, too. You might look at the title and think it sounds sketchy, like "Isn''t that just manipulating people?" By the end, though, I think you''ll see how Dale Carnegie''s tips ultimately boil down to "how to be a good person and a leader whom others respect." Because the best way to win friends and influence people? Sincere kindness. And kindness begins with empathy. We''re going to talk about empathy a lot throughout this whole book, because it''s such a fundamental part of figuring out how people work. Learning to understand how others feel and putting yourself in their position will be hugely helpful to you when it comes to making friends, becoming a leader, and having great relationships with all the people in your life. Let''s start off with a situation from your own point of view, first. Imagine this: You wake up one morning trapped inside a dystopian novel where every move you make--from the clothes you pick out to the social media you use to the questions you answer in class--gets recorded on a giant scoreboard for everyone to see. You realize that your score is changing how people see and treat you (just like theirs is changing your view of them), but you can''t quite figure out which choices are increasing your tally and which are hurting you. It feels like your place in life is totally random, like your head is going to explode from the effort of trying to figure it all out. What are you doing wrong? Spoiler alert: This dystopian novel is called high school. But you knew that already, right? Add to that the pressure to succeed, to have your whole life after senior year figured out by age fourteen, and it''s enough to make anyone want to sink into an endless black hole of YouTube and Netflix. You have more control than you might think, though. It all starts with how you treat other people. This goes way beyond whether you bully people or not, but it''s as good a place as any to start, so here we go. Recent studies show that 20 percent of students ages twelve to eighteen have been bullied, and 15 percent of those were bullied online or by text. Another study found that 30 percent of young people admitted to bullying others, and 70 percent had seen bullying happen at school.I You probably aren''t surprised by those numbers, and neither were the girls we interviewed for this book--except to say they would have thought the number was higher. Many of them shared their own experiences, including Julie, age fourteen: There was a girl in my class named Marie that everyone made fun of. She''s a total perfectionist and always used the full hour to take a test that the rest of the class finished in ten minutes. She''s obsessed with ballet and all she ever wanted to talk about was her dance classes. Also, it was kind of the way she looked. I tried to be nice to her, but I also participated in teasing her. She laughed at herself and didn''t let people know that she was hurt by what they said about her, but her mom told my mom that she cried every day after school. When my mom confronted me about it, I felt terrible. I told her that I tried sticking up for Marie, but it was hard. You want people to like you and I didn''t want to become a target by sticking up for her. I know how horrible that is. I''ve been teased before, too. Honestly, no judgment for Julie here; most of us have been in a position where standing up for someone or something would put us at risk, and it''s not easy. But look closely at her words: She isn''t really putting herself in Marie''s shoes, regardless of her own past experiences. If she were truly empathizing with Marie, she wouldn''t be able not to stick up for her, right? Instead, Julie is responding to her mom''s criticism, which was probably painful and made her feel like she needed to defend herself. Dale Carnegie once said, "Criticism is futile. It puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself." He felt so strongly about criticism that he always taught this principle first: Don''t criticize, condemn, or complain. What''s your first reaction when you''re on the receiving end of these three Cs? Do you instantly take the criticism to heart and say, "Hmm, you''re right, thank you for telling me"? Or do you feel cornered, hurt, or angry? Criticizing, condemning, and complaining are like building a giant brick wall between you and the other person. It''s hard for anything else to get through once it''s there, because you feel like you need to protect yourself, to block out any future hurt. Julie''s example is an obvious one. She''s got all three Cs going here: criticizing Marie, condemning her for her looks and personality, and complaining that she herself can''t do anything to help. It''s tempting to climb on a moral high horse and think, "I would never act like that." Everyone does, though, at least occasionally, if we''re honest with ourselves. And judging Julie in this situation is a form of criticism and condemnation, too. Dale Carnegie believed that "any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain--it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving." No one wants to see themselves as a bully, or someone too cowardly to go against the crowd. You don''t have to make the same mistake yourself. By finding ways to be less critical of others, anyone can learn how to deal with tough situations in a way that will build others up instead of tear them down. GIVING UP JUDGMENT In high school it''s an everyday occurrence to be present when someone is being made fun of or gossiped about, and there''s probably not a single person who isn''t guilty of it themselves. --Lily, Rhode Island It''s one thing to know we should be empathetic, but it''s another to actually be empathetic. There''s nothing revolutionary here: People have been telling you all your life to "do unto others as you would have done to you," right? So why is it so hard to stop and do what we know is the right thing? The truth is that the bullying we see everywhere at school and even at work would end tomorrow if every single person put forth a real, honest effort to see things from another person''s perspective. This is not to say that you should give up all the opinions, ideas, and perspectives that make you who you are, or never critique the people and systems that perpetuate injustice. There''s a big difference between judgments or stereotypes and constructive criticism that comes from a place of genuine goodwill toward another person. Confused? Look at it this way: Even if some truth exists in your complaints about people, snapping at them over their faults--or worse, humiliating them--won''t get you very far when it comes to actually getting them to change. Dale Carnegie took the example of the world-famous psychologist B. F. Skinner: "He proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.... Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment." What do you think--sounds legit? Before you answer, take this quick quiz to see if you know the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Your best friend bombs on a test, and you know they didn''t study at all. You: a) Assure them they''ll do better next time and offer to study together. b) Point out that they didn''t study, so at least they know it wasn''t their best effort. c) Tell them you''re shocked that staying up until three a.m. watching videos on their phone didn''t magically teach them algebra. Your friend decides to start posting their artwork online and it''s... rough. You: a) Like the post and encourage their newfound hobby. b) Tell them you look forward to seeing them improve. c) Tell them their Avengers fan art looks like a kid''s crayon drawing of a family. Your tone-deaf sister plans to audition for the high school musical. You: a) Invite your musically gifted friend over to give her some quick voice coaching. b) Suggest she wait and audition for next semester''s (nonmusical) play. c) Ask her when Les Mis
Details ISBN1982149035 Author Donna Dale Carnegie Publisher Simon & Schuster Language English Year 2020 ISBN-10 1982149035 ISBN-13 9781982149031 Format Paperback Publication Date 2020-08-04 Pages 208 Imprint Simon & Schuster Series Dale Carnegie Books Edition Description Reissue ed. DEWEY 158.208352 Audience General UK Release Date 2020-08-04 Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States US Release Date 2020-08-04 We've got this
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