Healing Conversations: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say by Nance Guil

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We're often faced with uncomfortable situations where we're at a loss for words. A friend calls to tell you she's lost her job. A colleague's test results confirm it: he has cancer. Your best friend's mother has Alzheimer's. Your spouse's father suddenly dies; she didn't get to say goodbye.

FORMATPaperback LANGUAGEEnglish CONDITIONBrand New Publisher Description

Whether it's the loss of a job, a marriage, or a life, in today's 24/7 world we're increasingly faced with uncomfortable situations where we don't know what to say yet we're called upon to quickly respond -- online or in person. We may fumble, avoid contact, or simply walk away perplexed, thinking we have done a bad job of responding to our friends, family, neighbors, clients, and co-workers. How do we pause, listen, and offer comfort in those hard moments? Filled with touching stories, this practical guide helps us step into someone else's shoes so that we can empathetically learn how to respond in times of need. The revised compact edition includes a new introduction, index and short reflections at the end of each chapter to help readers become more comfortable and effective when offering or accepting comfort in their demanding lives.

Back Cover

In today's relentless 24/7 world, this revised edition of Healing Conversations is a communications first-aid kit for difficult and troubling times. Filled with touching stories, it serves as an everyday resource to offer, accept, or ask for comfort when facing life's inevitable challenges. Whether you are at a loss for what to say, what to do, or simply how to be when you're responding to transitions, losses, or awkward moments, Healing Conversations is a wise and useful guide. "Through real-life stories... Ms. Guilmartin shows how to be a helpful and comforting resource, how to listen as well as to talk, and, conversely, how to seek comfort in rough times." -- THE NEW YORK TIMES "I urge you to buy a copy of Healing Conversations ... you'll feel more confident about your ability to know what to say and how to say it." --CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, M.D., renowned physician and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom "A tremendously important book that I could have used a hundred times before." --RICHARD CARLSON, author, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff "This is a sensitive and wise book." --JOAN HALIFAX ROSHI, head teacher, Upaya Zen Center "An extraordinary, comprehensive blueprint for dealing with the slings and arrows of daily, stressful, sometimes hurting life." --JEFFREY FOX, author, How to Become CEO: The Rules for Rising to the Top of Any Organization "Doctors, nurses, patients, and their families need this book right now." --RUDI ANSBACHER, M.D., past president, Society for Humanism in Medicine

Flap

In today's relentless 24/7 world, this revised edition of Healing Conversations is a communications first-aid kit for difficult and troubling times. Filled with touching stories, it serves as an everyday resource to offer, accept, or ask for comfort when facing life's inevitable challenges. Whether you are at a loss for what to say, what to do, or simply how to be when you're responding to transitions, losses, or awkward moments, Healing Conversations is a wise and useful guide. "Through real-life stories... Ms. Guilmartin shows how to be a helpful and comforting resource, how to listen as well as to talk, and, conversely, how to seek comfort in rough times." -- THE NEW YORK TIMES "I urge you to buy a copy of Healing Conversations ... you'll feel more confident about your ability to know what to say and how to say it." --CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, M.D., renowned physician and author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom "A tremendously important book that I could have used a hundred times before." --RICHARD CARLSON, author, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff "This is a sensitive and wise book." --JOAN HALIFAX ROSHI, head teacher, Upaya Zen Center "An extraordinary, comprehensive blueprint for dealing with the slings and arrows of daily, stressful, sometimes hurting life." --JEFFREY FOX, author, How to Become CEO: The Rules for Rising to the Top of Any Organization "Doctors, nurses, patients, and their families need this book right now." --RUDI ANSBACHER, M.D., past president, Society for Humanism in Medicine

Author Biography

Nance Guilmartin is a four-time regional Emmy award-winning broadcast journalist, speaker, business advisor, executive coach, and community service advocate. As a Westinghouse Broadcasting executive, she helped launch national initiatives, including the Designated Driver Program and the For Kids' Sake and Time to Care campaigns. Prior to her television career, she was press secretary to the late U.S. Senator Paul Tsongas. Her listening skills developed as a young news writer at CBS radio in Boston. Today she challenges organizations and executives to achieve breakthroughs and unlock hidden opportunities.

Table of Contents

A Preface for Changing Times. An Invitation to Healing Conversations. Getting Started. Supporting others without fixing, rescuing, or judging. 1 When You Need a Friend. Please, Don't Ask Me How I Am, Unless . . . Beginning a healing conversation Using the Rule of Six. Asking for help. Just Listen. After a sudden loss. Rediscovering Empathy. What comforts you may not comfort someone else. It'll Be OK, Sugarplum. Being a light at the end of the tunnel. Mommy, Will He Be OK? Helping children face their fears and yours. Asking One Friend to Help Another. When you don't have answers. Before and After the Move. Emotional attics and new road maps. It's Not What You Think. The hidden hurts of bankruptcy. Who Am I If I'm Not Who I Was? After a life-changing event. It's Over. A relationship ends. Anniversaries of Loss. Special dates to remember. Reflection: Tuning out of your head, tuning in to your heart. 2 Health Matters. Test Results. Getting the news or waiting to hear. Peaceful Warrior. When you want to help deal with a diagnosis. Facing Surgery. Before, during, and after. Paciencia. Recovering from depression. Is the Doctor In? Making the most of your time as a patient or as a doctor. What's the Difference Between a Cure and Healing? Living with chronic pain. What About Me? Supporting the caregiver. Second Sight. When a disability becomes an ability. After the Accident. Fears remain. A Cry for Help. Responding to attempted suicide. Reflection: How to be with someone who's in pain. 3 Transitions: Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul. "We're Getting Divorced". Appreciating what you may not understand. Be a Friend, Not a Hero. Helping someone deal with verbal abuse. I Don't Want to Be a Burden. Supporting the widowed spouse. Splinters, Mice, and Little Things. Learning to live alone. Broken Hearts and Burnt Offerings. When a gift offers a reservoir of care. Plant Closings and Pink Slips. Taking away their jobs but not their dignity. Trapezes. When someone is laid off, fired, or acquired. What Is Enough? Retirement as a way of life. I Know Her Name. Living with Alzheimer's. The Long Goodbye. When death takes its time. He Knows He's About to Die. Visiting a friend in hospice. Reflection: Being with their silence—and yours. 4 Lost Loves and Special Friends. Leo the Cat. Putting a "four-footed angel" to sleep. When You Don't Get the Chance to Say Goodbye. Unfinished feelings. Best-Laid Plans. When last wishes clash with the needs of the living. It's a Blessing, Really. When death brings relief. Take a Friend to Lunch. Writing the obituary. Oh, Damn! Did Anybody Bring a Knife? Scattering ashes. When Mom Leaves. A gift of poetry. Honoring Paul Tsongas. Writing a eulogy. Notes to Keep a Memory Alive. A letter to the children. When a Young Child Dies. A parent's bewilderment lingers. Frail Submarines. When someone chooses suicide. When Tragedy Inspires Action. Responding to a sudden death. Grief Unburied. Sorrow returns in waves. Reflection: Sometimes there are no words. Epilogue: In the End. Healing Takes Time. Appreciations. The Author. Index.

Long Description

In todays relentless 24/7 world, this revised edition of Healing Conversations is a communications first-aid kit for difficult and troubling times. Filled with touching stories, it serves as an everyday resource to offer, accept, or ask for comfort when facing lifes inevitable challenges. Whether you are at a loss for what to say, what to do, or simply how to be when youre responding to transitions, losses, or awkward moments, Healing Conversations is a wise and useful guide. "Through real-life stories Ms. Guilmartin shows how to be a helpful and comforting resource, how to listen as well as to talk, and, conversely, how to seek comfort in rough times." THE NEW YORK TIMES "I urge you to buy a copy of Healing Conversations youll feel more confident about your ability to know what to say and how to say it." CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP, M.D., renowned physician and author of Womens Bodies, Womens Wisdom "A tremendously important book that I could have used a hundred times before." RICHARD CARLSON, author, Dont Sweat the Small Stuff "This is a sensitive and wise book." JOAN HALIFAX ROSHI, head teacher, Upaya Zen Center "An extraordinary, comprehensive blueprint for dealing with the slings and arrows of daily, stressful, sometimes hurting life." JEFFREY FOX, author, How to Become CEO: The Rules for Rising to the Top of Any Organization "Doctors, nurses, patients, and their families need this book right now." RUDI ANSBACHER, M.D., past president, Society for Humanism in Medicine

Feature

A gentle guide to help us know what to say for those difficult situations where we don't know what to say. Filled with a collection of evocative stories about a wide-range of situations. Presents powerful principles for bridging the communication gaps that can arise between friends, family, colleagues during difficult times. Written for anyone who wants to support someone facing loss, disappointment, and tough times.

Details ISBN0470603550 Author Nance Guilmartin Language English ISBN-10 0470603550 ISBN-13 9780470603550 Media Book Format Paperback DEWEY 153.6 Year 2010 Subtitle What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say Short Title HEALING CONVERSATIONS REV/E Illustrations Yes Birth 1955 Affiliation Ipswich, Massachusetts Edition Revised edition UK Release Date 2010-06-08 Publication Date 2010-06-08 AU Release Date 2010-06-08 NZ Release Date 2010-06-08 US Release Date 2010-06-08 Pages 240 Publisher John Wiley & Sons Inc Edition Description Revised Edition Imprint Jossey-Bass Inc.,U.S. Place of Publication New York Country of Publication United States Replaces 9780787983369 Audience General We've got this

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